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A Question of Time: Kyl Reber

It’s a question of time…

How many of us have either used that statement or have heard the phrase “If I had to do everything again, I wouldn’t change a thing”. I don’t mean to start this on a negative note, but to me, that is the biggest load of shit. It’s just untrue. And here I’ll try to give my view on it and how this can relate to training, and maybe life in general.

What’s the most precious commodity in the world? TIME.
1. You can’t replace it
2. When it’s gone it’s gone.
3. You can’t buy more
4. You can’t hold some for a later date

And the list goes on…….

So why is one of the most common reasons we can’t do something we think we want to do or are asked to do?? “I don’t have the time”.  I’m writing this on my 42nd birthday, and I know the greater majority of the Old Man Strength Community are all a similar age. 42 years I have been on this earth (I’m surprised I made it past 18 to be honest). How much TIME have I wasted? As humans we waste so much time, and as a result, we can sometimes live with a truckload of regret.

“I’ll do that tomorrow”…..

“Maybe later”…..

We all said that before we became “Old Men” didn’t we?

Now I’m not saying we have to all start making bucket lists and start being daredevils and going crazy, but let’s just think about how much time we waste, and as a result how much we miss out on because we waste so much TIME (that word will be getting used a lot).  As an exercise, write down the 5 things in life you really regret missing out on, and then what you need to think about is:

A) Did you have control over the outcome of those situations; and’
B) Did they shape who are now?

I don’t speak about it a lot to people, but those who know me know that my father died of a fatal heart attack when I was 10 years old. The love I had for that guy can’t be measured, and after 31 years (this year) since his passing I still get a bit choked up just thinking about it. He worked overseas for a lot of my younger life in an effort to help us as a family get set up, and as a result we could buy our first family home outright, but he would be overseas for work 3 months at a time, and now with a family of my own, as I in my line of work travel interstate and overseas for no more than 3 weeks at a time, I cannot imagine the pain he must have gone through being away for so long, as the age my daughters are at now, is at the age the travel was at its peak.

Every time I see someone (usually in Martial Arts) with enormous potential, mediocre or just starting out, and they talk about putting off gradings, trips, seminars, and just day to day training activities, I think about my father, and the regret that he may have had missing out on some major milestones of my childhood through doing what he thought was the right thing to do. Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it?

The one regret I don’t live with, is that as a child, that night he died, I saw him before I went to bed at dinner, I gave him a hug, I told him I loved him, and I went to bed.

And the next day when I woke up I had no father, but that’s ok, because if anything it has taught me to take the opportunities you can, never go bed on an argument, and never go to sleep without saying you’re sorry, because you have no idea what will happen tomorrow.

The journey I am now on in my life at 42 years YOUNG, was certainly not what I thought it would be even 5 or 10 years ago, but using time to the fullest, making EVERY DAY COUNT, and essentially remembering that every time it got too hard or was too much in my opinion is what got me through, and now it’s happened, After 20 YEARS of Thai Boxing I finally got to do my first training trip to Thailand, now I have been twice, and I WILL be back there every year.

I never travelled much when I was younger, as I got stuck in a job that I worked 7 days a week, but as a result of work and training, I met my wife, have a beautiful family, and they now support me to maybe try to make for some lost time in some areas. I can use the time I have now to spend as much time with my kids as I can, and one day they will come on trips with me and get to see and do the things that I wish I could have done with my father.

So when people tell me about time wasted, and this and that and everything else regarding TIME, I think I have wasted a fair bit of time over the years, and I could have used the time a bit better, but it’s gone, and yes I regret a lot, but I’m trying to make up for it now. I can’t change that time I wasted or the events that happened that I regret, so I try not to drag them around, but it’s hard not to.

Give me a few beers and about 9 hours and I’ll list all the things I have messed up and regret, but I don’t want special allowances for that, and instead as a coach I want to try and save my students the pain that was associated with all of those errors in training and life. There are some young kids on these training trips that I look at and know I was exactly like that at that age, and I guess that sort of thing is a rite of passage, but don’t waste the time.

Five rules:

1. Use the time you have.
2. Don’t put off till tomorrow what can be done today.
3. The busiest people are also the most successful.
4. Never tell your friends or family you don’t have time for them
5. The most important one…….. MAKE TIME……

Number 5 is really the whole essence of it all. Make that time.

Nothing is going to happen overnight, train for just training’s sake. Nothing can replace time on the mat, and that “mat” can be a metaphor for anything in general.

If you want something bad enough, you will find the time to do it. Spend the time. It ain’t over till it’s over.

#OMS

Kyl Reber – Head Instructor and Owner, Chikara Martial Arts, Queensland, Australia